How often do you go to a spa for a session?

[boeing707]

Even when taking some of the posts with rather large quantities of grains of salt, it still all sounds rather sad to me. People seem to suffer from extreme loneliness to mild sex addiction to a rather worrying level of personality disorder. I wonder what will happen to these folks when they loose their funding, or the line of credit finally runs out. It's just a really sad state if this is what your entire life revolves around and you have nothing else, no interests, no friends, just that hour in a dark massage room doing the same thing over and over again.

 

[Ernest]

Even when taking some of the posts with rather large quantities of grains of salt, it still all sounds rather sad to me. People seem to suffer from extreme loneliness to mild sex addiction to a rather worrying level of personality disorder. I wonder what will happen to these folks when they loose their funding, or the line of credit finally runs out. It's just a really sad state if this is what your entire life revolves around and you have nothing else, no interests, no friends, just that hour in a dark massage room doing the same thing over and over again.

I know, and it's sad that we all have so much time on our hands that we are engrossed in discussing this on a chat forum. If I only had a life with real friends, I wouldn't be so lonely. . Oh well, off to the spa to help me feel better

 

[TheIceman]

Even when taking some of the posts with rather large quantities of grains of salt, it still all sounds rather sad to me. People seem to suffer from extreme loneliness to mild sex addiction to a rather worrying level of personality disorder. I wonder what will happen to these folks when they loose their funding, or the line of credit finally runs out. It's just a really sad state if this is what your entire life revolves around and you have nothing else, no interests, no friends, just that hour in a dark massage room doing the same thing over and over again.

Not any sadder than the dude who spends thousands working on his 1997 corvette in the garage all weekend, or the guy who spends his time watching sports or betting at the casino.

It is a very enjoyable hobby.

 

[boeing707]

Funny how the responses are no different as those addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Look, I am sorry if I caused offense. But I have been in the same situation for close to 10 years and it's only been 4 months since I stopped. So I know all the reasons and all the excuses that I used to tell myself to keep pretending it is all fine. Even when it is not.

 

[Sundance69]

Funny how the responses are no different as those addicted to drugs or alcohol. Enjoy your life, keep deluding yourselves.

100% - love is a drug (ha) ..... Pick your poison, alcohol, drugs, golf, Professional sports games (leafs, raptors, jays, tfc) , spa visits .... or ..... all of the above!

 

[cl794]

Funny how the responses are no different as those addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Look, I am sorry if I caused offense. But I have been in the same situation for close to 10 years and it's only been 4 months since I stopped. So I know all the reasons and all the excuses that I used to tell myself to keep pretending it is all fine. Even when it is not.

no you didn't cause offense. it's just reality that there's much worse hobbies. lots of people in mainstream society think they're healthy b/c they're the same as everyone else. but that's far from reality.

lol you think all the men on golf courses are psychologically healthy?

 

[TheIceman]

Funny how the responses are no different as those addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Look, I am sorry if I caused offense. But I have been in the same situation for close to 10 years and it's only been 4 months since I stopped. So I know all the reasons and all the excuses that I used to tell myself to keep pretending it is all fine. Even when it is not.

saying you are sad.
And that you are cured with 4 months absence.

It seems you are still quite emotionally attached surfing this website.
Just not financially invested.
It isn’t sad that you are still invested in the hobby. You shouldn’t worry about feeling sad for yourself and others.

My two cents.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

Even when taking some of the posts with rather large quantities of grains of salt, it still all sounds rather sad to me. People seem to suffer from extreme loneliness to mild sex addiction to a rather worrying level of personality disorder. I wonder what will happen to these folks when they loose their funding, or the line of credit finally runs out. It's just a really sad state if this is what your entire life revolves around and you have nothing else, no interests, no friends, just that hour in a dark massage room doing the same thing over and over again.

Sometimes I think they are just full of it, trying to drum up business for the girls. Massages are good for you and sex is good for you but it would seem unsensible spending that many may want to promote which I believe needs a grain of salt. I do not think it is pathetic to reach out with beautiful women but it does seem flawed if they are hurting themselves financially. I personally like balance and was isolated for health reasons and two or three times a week was good. Now healthier I have better control but no need to give it up. Good sex rocks and massages too. There are those that would put you down but it does deserve a part of the conversation that's all. Explore the issues. as far as cutting back, it is like quitting smoking it does not own me. There is much more leverage in ability to say no as well. For me it is not my only hobby or people.

 

[Sundance69]

saying you are sad.
And that you are cured with 4 months absence.

It seems you are still quite emotionally attached surfing this website.
Just not financially invested.
It isn’t sad that you are still invested in the hobby. You shouldn’t worry about feeling sad for yourself and others.

My two cents.

It's a hobby, and you are allowed to experience and enjoy as you wish. It's natural .... we all know the oldest profession, or some modern version of it.
In my opinion it's a public service, many need the services provided, it's healthy, natural and provides relief.

If you can afford go as often as you want .... it's a far better hobby, than alcohol and drugs.
Although, I'm not out and about as often these days, I have enjoyed the experience tremendously and look at this as a very positive experience.

It also provides many new Canadians a very good standard of living, allows them to purchase houses here or in China, provides for their families, and educates many find outstanding young people.
No need to be sorry here, enjoy the process and understand for the girls, this is just work, with the odd connection we all make along the way.

 

[Stoo]

Man, there's some serious sex addiction being documented here.

 

[Ernest]

Man, there's some serious sex addiction being documented here.

Addiction. Ha. Some people don't get sex at home so once or twice a week doesn't sound like addiction to me.

 

[TheIceman]

You still romanticize them too much- I dont think sending tax free cash back to China while partaking in social programs/healthcare here, is a positive. Even less so, spa girls owning rental and investment properties driving cost of housing up for all, also not good- but hey, most of the ladies who got into that bought the tip top of the houaing boom lol.

The real cringe? A guy who quit going for massages still reading this forum. That is crazy weird behavior.

Cause he is sad for those still participating.

 

[Sundance69]

You still romanticize them too much- I dont think sending tax free cash back to China while partaking in social programs/healthcare here, is a positive. Even less so, spa girls owning rental and investment properties driving cost of housing up for all, also not good- but hey, most of the ladies who got into that bought the tip top of the houaing boom lol.

The real cringe? A guy who quit going for massages still reading this forum. That is crazy weird behavior.

Some of that is true to, but that's the immigration policy, and yes a few of the girls got caught being a little greedy, as did others.
I know one girl, has a house and condo and two that were to close this spring (I don't know what happened in the end).

Re Quitting - Im not a Quitter ... HA!

 

[Sundance69]

Cause he is sad for those still participating.

I'm sad for those that haven't had the opportunity to meet many of the lovely girls/women I've met over the last number of years. So very special girls ... (others not so much!).

 

[boeing707]

A very relevant article.

https://www.sexaddictionscounseling.com/4815-2/

But as the article states, "Addicts in the grip of an addiction have a set of beliefs that support that addiction. That is, beliefs which protect them from the need to examine their behavior. These can look absurdly deluded to a non addict. When challenged in any way, the practicing addict uses these ideas or “theories” to defend against the idea that they have a problem."

A lot of this is on display in this thread. Comments such as "it's just a hobby" and others, are reflective of the behavior, trying to normalize behavior which when viewed through the lens of a non-addict seem completely absurd. I've sadly dealt with a lot of alcoholics in my life, through family and friends, and you see the same excuses, trying to normalize the behavior.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

For 80% of the absolute losers here, its a parasocial addiction.

Its the only human physical and social contact they experience, being so undesireable, not just in a sexual manner but even as a human.

Off putting, cheap/broke, literal mental issues, stinky, weird. I am not sure we can say its an addiction as much as its the last resort for the sad and hopeless here.

And NONE of them are going to have an epiphany because of these kinds of threads... they will dig in deeper.

It is true but in life 80% of the girls would only date the top 20% of guys (obviously some of these guys are bottom 20% but same for the girls no matter how they are propped up)so if you are not having sex at least pay for it instead of missing out indefinately. That is a breath of fresh air. But I need balance and different social sets to keep me in check with a diversity of activity not just sex. I do like having a sex life that is not all bad strings attached like relationships can be for me. I thought I would get better a spas from this board but not really I can see alot of these guys are a part of the hustle. It is an addiction if it makes your life unmanageable and some play your ego to get alligned with their stupid life. You could say caffienne is addictive but it is also a great fitness supplement for people with excellant health. I was isolated by health and mobility so I hobbied alot but I so not want to feel like a miscreant so I do It construtively now and if it makes you unhappy you are not good at it and it is an addiction. I rant but I have enjoyed your input.

 

[Sundance69]

A very relevant article.

Denial in Sex Addiction: Delusion, Distortion and Dissociation

But as the article states, "Addicts in the grip of an addiction have a set of beliefs that support that addiction. That is, beliefs which protect them from the need to examine their behavior. These can look absurdly deluded to a non addict. When challenged in any way, the practicing addict uses these ideas or “theories” to defend against the idea that they have a problem."

A lot of this is on display in this thread. Comments such as "it's just a hobby" and others, are reflective of the behavior, trying to normalize behavior which when viewed through the lens of a non-addict seem completely absurd. I've sadly dealt with a lot of alcoholics in my life, through family and friends, and you see the same excuses, trying to normalize the behavior.

While this is possible, and for some maybe. Addictions are NOT THE NORM.

"While specific data for Canada is scarce, international studies provide some insights. Research suggests that approximately 3% to 6% of the adult population may experience symptoms consistent with sex addiction. Given that men are more frequently diagnosed with this condition than women, it’s reasonable to infer that a similar percentage—around 3% to 6%—of Canadian men might be affected."

It's the oldest profession in the history of the world, fact is men need attention, affection, touching and SEX. It's not that complicated.

I'd suggest you open on office in Oakville and set up shop on Lakeshore, you might find a few customers. BUT, it won't be me.

Happy Saturday!

 

[Sundance69]

For 80% of the absolute losers here, its a parasocial addiction.

Its the only human physical and social contact they experience, being so undesireable, not just in a sexual manner but even as a human.

Off putting, cheap/broke, literal mental issues, stinky, weird. I am not sure we can say its an addiction as much as its the last resort for the sad and hopeless here.

And NONE of them are going to have an epiphany because of these kinds of threads... they will dig in deeper.

I'm not sure that's the case, most of the members I know are married, in pretty good situations, and need a little relief and relaxation from time to time.

 

[Sundance69]

It is true but in life 80% of the girls would only date the top 20% of guys (obviously some of these guys are bottom 20% but same for the girls no matter how they are propped up)so if you are not having sex at least pay for it instead of missing out indefinately. That is a breath of fresh air. But I need balance and different social sets to keep me in check with a diversity of activity not just sex. I do like having a sex life that is not all bad strings attached like relationships can be for me. I thought I would get better a spas from this board but not really I can see alot of these guys are a part of the hustle. It is an addiction if it makes your life unmanageable and some play your ego to get alligned with their stupid life. You could say caffienne is addictive but it is also a great fitness supplement for people with excellant health. I was isolated by health and mobility so I hobbied alot but I so not want to feel like a miscreant so I do It construtively now and if it makes you unhappy you are not good at it and it is an addiction. I rant but I have enjoyed your input.

Many addictions ... but all limited, drugs, alcohol, fitness, golf, event like hockey games or baseball games, bike riding, hiking, charity work ... and maybe a few who are out for a visit. You'll note sex addictions account for only 3% to 6% ....

 

[boeing707]

Again those are the excuses of addicts to make things right. If you are so sure this is all very innocent, and compare going for sex to a game of golf, post your selfies with spa workers on facebook, tell to your colleagues or wifes how much fun you had. The excuses are no different from alcoholics who claim they can stop anytime, that it's all just a little fun, no harm done. Your neurological pathways are now hard wired to make you believe this behavior is normal.

The truth is that it is harmful behavior, and it does hurt others. And I can speak freely about it because I was that kind of person. I've been cheating on my wife for many years, spent household money on prostitution, that we could have used for better things. Because let's please be honest, we are John's visiting prostitutes, if you want to call it a hobby or massage, fine, delude yourself. I am done pretending. And it is an addiction, a road to nowhere. Studies have shown most sex addicts, like other addicts, need more and more stimulus, more frequent visits, to feed the need. The outcome is criminal activities, divorce, bankruptcy, severe depression, impotence (yes really), and suicide. It is a demon I am fighting every day.