Chat Jokes please

[SamPerkins]

 

[snoopdoggie]

A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "what can I get you, Mr. President?"

 

[snoopdoggie]

Drunk Trump was asked which room in the White House is his favourite. He said he really likes the Oval Office. He also said President Oval was a great, great President.

 

[SamPerkins]

 

[xtc27]

View attachment 709626

It blows my mind a guy can post so much in the jokes thread while lacking a sense of humour …

 

[SPAfan2020]

It blows my mind a guy can post so much in the jokes thread while lacking a sense of humour …

Hi xtc27 ,
I love Massgeplanet. I want it continue forever because helps us to find our favorite Spas and MPAs. So, Joke yes, but demeaning and offensive jokes, please NO! I hope you get.

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[Hornet]

A reporter asked Trump “How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?”

Trump: “Listen, those are Joe Biden lightbulbs burning out. What he did to the lightbulb is terrible. When I was the President last time we had the best lightbulbs. They go off then on then off again. Some would go on then go a little brighter and then a little brighter again before going off. I’m going to tariff the lightbulb because they are all made in China. We need to bring the lightbulb back to America. We’re going to create lots of jobs making lighbulbs. I get told all the time, we need more lightbulbs and better lightbulbs because it gets dark at night. And it doesn’t get dark at the same time every day. No seriously, it changes. Somebody said that’s due to the rotation of the earth around the sun so I’m going to stop that so it gets dark at the same time all the time. Biden couldn’t do that. I’m the only President that can stop the rotation of the earth around the sun. And we’re going to need more potatoes because when you try to unscrew those lightbulbs and they break, you have to cut a potatoe in half to grap the lightbulb to get it out. You know, potatoes come from Idaho. I love Idado and they love me. You know I won Idaho by 36%? You know French fries come from potatoes? A lot of people don’t know that. Joe Vandal, great guy, he’s the mascot of the University there and is a Viking. You know Vikings travelled across the ocean before Columbus. A lot of people don’t know that but I’m smart, my uncle went to MIT. They even came to Greenland. We need Greenland and I think we’re going to get it……..”

 

[SamPerkins]

 

[snoopdoggie]

A reporter asked Trump “How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?”

Trump: “Listen, those are Joe Biden lightbulbs burning out. What he did to the lightbulb is terrible. When I was the President last time we had the best lightbulbs. They go off then on then off again. Some would go on then go a little brighter and then a little brighter again before going off. I’m going to tariff the lightbulb because they are all made in China. We need to bring the lightbulb back to America. We’re going to create lots of jobs making lighbulbs. I get told all the time, we need more lightbulbs and better lightbulbs because it gets dark at night. And it doesn’t get dark at the same time every day. No seriously, it changes. Somebody said that’s due to the rotation of the earth around the sun so I’m going to stop that so it gets dark at the same time all the time. Biden couldn’t do that. I’m the only President that can stop the rotation of the earth around the sun. And we’re going to need more potatoes because when you try to unscrew those lightbulbs and they break, you have to cut a potatoe in half to grap the lightbulb to get it out. You know, potatoes come from Idaho. I love Idado and they love me. You know I won Idaho by 36%? You know French fries come from potatoes? A lot of people don’t know that. Joe Vandal, great guy, he’s the mascot of the University there and is a Viking. You know Vikings travelled across the ocean before Columbus. A lot of people don’t know that but I’m smart, my uncle went to MIT. They even came to Greenland. We need Greenland and I think we’re going to get it……..”

Some light bulbs have an aluminum base to it. So, Drunk Trump is going to put two separate tariffs on one light bulb, because his uncle is really smart. Did you know his uncle helped Thomas Edison invent the light bulb?

 

[snoopdoggie]

A reporter asked Trump “How many people does it take to change a lightbulb?”

Trump: “Listen, those are Joe Biden lightbulbs burning out. What he did to the lightbulb is terrible. When I was the President last time we had the best lightbulbs. They go off then on then off again. Some would go on then go a little brighter and then a little brighter again before going off. I’m going to tariff the lightbulb because they are all made in China. We need to bring the lightbulb back to America. We’re going to create lots of jobs making lighbulbs. I get told all the time, we need more lightbulbs and better lightbulbs because it gets dark at night. And it doesn’t get dark at the same time every day. No seriously, it changes. Somebody said that’s due to the rotation of the earth around the sun so I’m going to stop that so it gets dark at the same time all the time. Biden couldn’t do that. I’m the only President that can stop the rotation of the earth around the sun. And we’re going to need more potatoes because when you try to unscrew those lightbulbs and they break, you have to cut a potatoe in half to grap the lightbulb to get it out. You know, potatoes come from Idaho. I love Idado and they love me. You know I won Idaho by 36%? You know French fries come from potatoes? A lot of people don’t know that. Joe Vandal, great guy, he’s the mascot of the University there and is a Viking. You know Vikings travelled across the ocean before Columbus. A lot of people don’t know that but I’m smart, my uncle went to MIT. They even came to Greenland. We need Greenland and I think we’re going to get it……..”

This is so real, just like him.

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 726014

Good way to hide your money.